Tuesday afternoon
I placed an order for a set of Sleek Audio SA1 headphones. I have a 5-hour bus trip to New York City this weekend, and since my headphones are no longer functional I needed to get a set ASAP as to avoid social interaction, perish the thought. Since we’ll likely be out and about on Friday, and therefore unable to sign for any packages, I decided to have to package shipped to my office in Cambridge, MA via UPS Overnight so they’d arrive while I was at work today (Wednesday).
Tuesday evening
The company I ordered the headphones through (who shall remain nameless for the time being) fulfilled my order and the package entered UPS’ tracking system.
Wednesday morning
My package arrives in “East Boston”. Research reveals that this means Logan Airport. A cryptic update is made to the UPS tracking page: “LATE AIRPLANE”. I also receive an email that reads: “At the request of [REDACTED], this notice alerts you delivery of the following shipment has been rescheduled.” The UPS tracking page still reads, “IN TRANSIT” and that the package will be delivered on schedule, today. I am confused. The most recent update, at 9:50AM in East Boston, reads “DEPARTURE SCAN”. I am confused.
Wednesday afternoon
The package does not arrive. Shortly after 3PM, I call UPS looking for a more specific update. I am told that the package arrived late (a “late airplane” I presume) and is en route to the Watertown hub, from where it will be dispatched on a smaller truck to my office. Quick note, for you non-Bostonians: Watertown is 10 miles east of Logan Airport. Even after a Sox game, you could still get there is less than 6 hours. I am confused. Also, I am told my package likely isn’t arriving today, but maybe it will be 7PM. I am confused and frustrated, because at no point did either the online tracking page or the automated package tracking phone system ever inform me that, hey, don’t bother wasting your time waiting for this thing to arrive, because it’s not. Had I not 0-ed my way to an operator, I would have never found out. I ask if they can just reroute it to my home address once it arrives in Watertown, to be delivered Friday. I am told that is not possible for a package receiver to have a package rerouted until after a failed delivery. Only the sender can have the package rerouted.
For clarification: a package sits at the Watertown hub. I can’t have them send it to my house until after someone puts it on a truck, drives to my office, finds that no one is there because it’s Thanksgiving, then brings it back. Then, and only then, am I allowed to have them ship it elsewhere.
I am confused and frustrated. I email [REDACTED] asking politely to contact UPS and have them forward the address. 10 minutes later, I call [REDACTED] to find that they are gone for the Thanksgiving holiday. Fair enough. For shits and giggles, I download UPS’ iPhone app to see what it tells me. It tells me my package is “IN TRANSIT” just like the online tracker, but the location reads “WATERTOWN, MA”. There is no indication of whether that’s where the package is, where it’s going, or where it just left from.
Wednesday afternoon, part 2
I call UPS again, explaining the situation and asking if there is any way they can reroute the package. Still not possible, and by the way, your package definitely isn’t arriving today, even though you paid a ton of money to have it arrive today. I am confused and angry, and ask how I can go about getting a refund. Apparently since [REDACTED] actually ordered the shipping, they’ll have to process the refund, so I’ll have to contact them with details. Fair enough. Confused, angry, and 3 hours later than I wanted to, I head home.
Wednesday evening
While in traffic, I see on my iPhone that the my package has arrived in Watertown and the status has changed to, “EXCEPTION”, with the description, “A CORRECT SUITE NUMBER IS NEEDED FOR DELIVERY. UPS IS ATTEMPTING TO OBTAIN THIS INFORMATION”. Note #1: No, a suite number is not needed. All it needs is the company name, and the front desk handles the rest. I know this because I’ve had packages shipped to my office before. Note #2: No one at UPS attempted to obtain this information from me. Note #3: What the hell is an “exception”? I am confused and very angry. I call UPS again and ask if, now that my package has become an EXCEPTION, it is possible to have it rerouted to my home. It is not possible, but the Watertown will hold it until I can pick it up. Fine, I say, what are their hours on Friday? They are not open on Friday. My headphones are trapped until Monday. None of the first two humans I spoke with, nor the automated phone system, nor the online tracking site mentioned that UPS was closed Friday. In fact, the first two humans both mentioned that UPS would attempt delivery Friday since they were unable to deliver in time today. This is, of course, completely incorrect.
I am living in a Kafkaesque nightmare.
After coming out on the other side, here are the facts of the day:
- My package arrived in Boston on a late plane.
- This late plane doomed any chance of the package being delivered on time today.
All these facts were known by 9AM. If I had known them then, my day would have been drastically better. Instead, to acquire this information required a combination of:
- 8 hours.
- UPS’ online package tracker.
- 3 cryptic emails.
- UPS’ iPhone app.
- 4 phone calls to UPS, including reading my 18-character tracking number out loud to an automated phone system.
- 3 different UPS phone operators, none of whom were local, 2 of whom gave me inaccurate information.
Conclusion
I don’t get my headphones until Monday, and I’m never shipping UPS again.
Fuck.